To share your testimony is like taking your heart out of your chest and laying it down for all the world to see. Our testimony is personal, yet it is meant to be shared. Jesus said, that we would defeat the enemy “…by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of [our] testimony…”
My story with Jesus began long ago. I was raised in a home where my Mom faithfully took us to church every Sunday and we grew up knowing who Jesus was. Even though our home was happy, like most, there were traumas and secrets that were meant to be kept.
I accepted Christ at a young age and was baptized…twice…cause, I felt like the first time didn’t count. You see, for me, making the decision to not go to hell was big and I wanted to make sure I did it right. But, being young and not having anyone to truly disciple me in the way of following Jesus and developing an intimate relationship with Him, I quickly fell and began to follow my own path again.
Did you catch something above?? What was my decision for??? Yep, to stay out of hell. That’s a pretty good motivator…yet, the whole point is missed if that is all it is about…
My teen years led me to begin experimenting with lots of things and looking for love in all the wrong places. Who can relate? Thank you, Jesus, He did not leave me there.
I got married and had a son by the age of 30 and during that time, I had straightened up tremendously. I proclaimed I was a Christian, even though there was no fruit in my life of a relationship with Christ. I did not go to church, I stayed away from people who did, and married a man who claimed he did not believe in God. It was at the time that my son was 6 months old that I heard the Lord speak, “If you do not take your son to church, no one will.”
It was as if a lightbulb switched on and I immediately made the decision to start going back to church (it had been 10 years or more that I had been away from church). But more importantly, I made the decision to follow Christ. For once in my life, I realized just how lost I was and undone without Jesus and how grateful I was that He died for me. I knew I could live no longer separated from Him.
As He started to clean me up, it seemed my husband at the time got worse. Within a month of beginning the pursuit of life with Christ, my marriage ended.
Separation led to divorce which then led to shame.
Being a new baby Christian and learning how to follow Christ, I knew that I now wore the scarlet letter D. I wrestled with God as I learned to follow him and to change the habits of a life that had been led solely in the flesh for far too long. It was tough.
What made things even tougher, I felt God calling me into missions and every mission organization I reached out to would not accept a divorced woman.
I was defeated.
How can I hear God’s call, know that He is leading me to missions, feel His hand in my life and yet all doors are closed?
It was around this time that I found a wreath that I wanted to make. I don’t know what made this little wreath become an obsession, but it did. The funny thing was, it was obviously an obsession for others as well because I could not buy the little felt balls that it was made out of. Every US supplier was out of stock.
So, I did what any obsessed person would do…I started digging. I found out that all the US suppliers bought from a company in Nepal…so I went to them directly to find out how to buy. I had to purchase more than I needed, but went ahead and got them ordered and waited for them to arrive.
That is when my obsession about a wreath turned into an obsession about a country.
Where is Nepal? What is life like there? Hey, did you know that is where Mount Everest is?? These were the questions and thoughts that rambled through my mind on a daily basis. Finally, I thought I better ask the Lord what this was about. I knew that it really was unlike me to stew on something like this…so maybe this was from Him.
I went to my pastor to talk about my desires to serve the Lord and how I kept finding closed doors. Then I shared about this obsession over Nepal and asked if he thought God might be calling me to that country. As I have found many times through the years when it comes to the Lord, He lines things up perfectly, my pastor just happened to know of a missionary that had returned from a 10-year stint in Nepal. Pretty coincidental, don’t you think?
After meeting with the missionary and spending time sharing my heart, I decided to join a group who was meeting to learn about discipleship methods and reaching the lost…this method had been developed by missionaries in Asia and would be helpful not only here, but there as well.
This decision is one that greatly changed my life…(The rest of the story over here!!!)
PS…This song is such a testimony for a girl like me that knew she was broken and dirty…oh what a Savior to take someone like me and make me clean.
PPS…If the video above doesn’t load, just refresh your page!!!