“What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? …Or does it explode?”
Someone mentioned to me that they were in a season of spiritual dryness…I thought to myself, she just described mine exactly. She put into words something I had wrestled with for months.
You see, I thought something was wrong with me if I admitted the dryness.
As time has gone on I have realized it is not the dryness that is the problem. It is my unwillingness to push through the dryness until I find the Living Water again. How many of us, if we really analyze our lives, would say that we are exactly where we want to be with God? I believe there are quite a few of us who would say we are not.
Daily quiet time, reading our Bible, prayer; these are all wonderful aspects of our time with God. But, the real question is, Are you in love with Him? Is He all-consuming in your mind? Do you yearn for those moments when you can sneak off to be alone with Him?
For me, the answer is, not really.
My mind is filled daily with a list of to-do’s longer than I can get done, children who need me, clients who depend on me, and a body that feels worn and ragged. I think about and pray to Jesus multiple times a day, but it is nothing like I want it to be.
Have you ever talked to someone who had truly just fallen in love? They have such a glow and light about them. Their eyes twinkle every time they talk about the one they love. Every conversation revolves around him. You actually get sick of hearing about it because it seems like this love for the other person is filling up every crevice of their life.
That is how I want to feel about Jesus.
I know for sure, that if my mind were consumed with Him, there would be no space for the consuming thoughts of money, time, to-do lists, sickness, worry, doubt, fear, etc. If He were all I talked about, there would be no space in my mouth for me to say unkind things to my husband, speak harshly to my children, and brush off opportunities to share with those who don’t know Him.
At my stage of life, it should be very easy to relish in my love for Jesus. I do not work a traditional job, so my schedule is my own. I have responsibilities in my home, but those are determined by me. I have little people who need me, but they also need Jesus, so I can incorporate them into my time with Him.
Yet, I struggle.
Most days, I am so tired that sleeping in wins above getting up to spend the first part of my day with Jesus. My prayer life is one that is in serious need of a refreshing and my war room looks like it belongs to a toy soldier.
So, I continue.
I seek and pray…asking God to increase my desire for Him. Asking Him to reveal Himself to me in His word. I ask for opportunities to share and forgiveness when I miss opportunities.
And now…I share.
It is not for us to stay silent about the season we are in so that we do not feel humiliated. It is for us to share with others who may also be in the same season so they will know that they are not alone.
Will you pray for me? Comment below and I will certainly pray for you!